For my recent (and first)
podcast interview that I did for
A Socialite's Life earlier this week, I first had a little photo shoot with my good buddy and noted photographer,
Wayne Ford, at his apartment's pool.
We actually only needed one picture, but there were so many good ones, that I felt they must see the light of day somewhere. Plus, it's so rare that I actually ever full-out dress like a girl. Therefore, I've decided to post my favorites from said shoot.
I love this one, mostly because you can't really see me. It's the martini that's the star of the show and I almost used it, except that it looks too similar to another picture on ASL that we use for a completley different feature.
This is my Patsy Stone rip-off picture. I enjoy the lazy cigarette hanging out of my mouth, which I'm trying to light without catching any part of my person on fire. With my cigarette, and martini glass, I'm about one prop away from having way too much shit in my hands.
This was another picture I really wanted to use, but I didn't think I looked quite crazy enough in it. I love how 70's the lighting looks. And yes, bitches, all of that is my real hair. This bitch can't afford weave no way, no how.
After seeing this picture, I'm totally realizing that dieting and exercise is for dumb people. Want to look skinny? Then just take pictures like this for the rest of your life. I like to imagine that I would be able to get myself in the US Magazine "Too Skinny!" Issue, with my picture sandwiched in between Kate Bosworth and the dangerously skinny Olsen twin, as opposed to the less skinny one.
My God, my feet even look small. Fucking-A.
This is my Fellini bitch picture. Seriously, if this were in black and white, Marcello Mastroianni would be begging me not to call his wife, as I had previously threatened to do in the scene at the beginning of the movie. That's right, bitches, cause this ho is playing the mistress. Cause nothing says homewrecker quite like a plunging neckline and slight bouffant half-up, half-down hairdo.
This is a great shot from some of the very first pictures we took, when I very ambitiously thought I could handle all those damn props at once. You can't tell, but I soaked two cigarettes with vodka cause I kept spilling that shit all over the place. At the end of the shoot, my hands smelled like I had been molesting the hell of some poor, innocent olives.
Recognize this? If not, then I'm not even sure what you're doing here, cause CLEARLY this is my most Janice Dickinson moment of the entire shoot. Short of rocking the crazy fake titties and/or showing my crotch, I'm obviously channeling the world's--nay, the UNIVERSE'S--very first supermodel.
And for my last pic, I just went for the pretty shot. That's right. I said it. Cause I think I'm pretty.
If you're anything like my friend, Wayne, then your love of filthy martinis has left you with jars of olives in your fridge, just sitting there, juiceless and lonely. 
